Wrecked- Why I Quit My Job.

Happy Monday!

I hope that you all had a great weekend!

Mine was busy but great! Saturday morning was spent with my sister, Cierra, at the Farmers Market. This was the final market of the season and it was hot! My sister is the owner and operator of Cierra’s Bake Shoppe and makes the most delicious cookies and cakes. We were set up right across from Mama’s Cold Brew and kept seeing the adorable mason jar cups they were selling flying off the table. We had been eyeing them all day so we decided to finally bite the bullet and buy one. I chose the flamingos and my sister went with the floral design. Sunday I saw the Avengers Infinity War. IT WAS AMAZING! If you haven’t seen it yet, you definitely should.

So now onto the story of why I quit my job.

If you have read my blog for a little while you know that I was working a job that was making me extremely unhappy. Well, unhappy is a bit of an understatement because my job was making me down right miserable. I worked there almost a year and a half and it got progressively worse the longer I stayed there. For one, my boss was horrendous. While there were some good days, they were few and far between. During my time at that job we lost about 6 people and even before I was there, the turnover was just as high. This job was in the financial industry and extremely high stress, made even more stressful by being continuously micromanaged and verbally abused. I won’t go into too much detail because if I did this post would be 15 pages long. Ultimately, in the last 3 months I worked there, I began not caring about myself at all. I was working late hours and bringing work home with me almost every night. My co-workers were excessively negative and I found myself shaking when I would sit in on meetings with my boss. In turn, this made my immune system go haywire and I wound up sick over and over again with a sinus infection. Still, I continued to believe that things might get better. They didn’t. I couldn’t believe it but it actually got worse. During the last week leading up to the end, I found myself crying at the drop of a hat. My emotions had gone haywire and I didn’t know how to fix it.

Then came my last two days.

It was Friday and we were having a speaking event in our office. We had people who flew in to speak so the day was hectic. One of my co-workers and I had put together the event and made sure we had taken care of all the details leading up to it as best we could. As soon as my boss arrived she began quickly picking apart everything we had done and expressing how dissatisfied she was with what we had put together. While this was nothing new, this time it just felt wrong, like a veil had been lifted and I was finally realizing that I did not deserve to be treated like this by someone who told me that they cared about me. By the end of Friday, I was spent. The day was long and stressful and my boss decided that speaking to my co-worker and I in private to express how unhappy she was with the set up, she would really lay into us in front of the people who spoke at the event. To say it was embarrassing was an understatement and I left work feeling dejected and miserable, as usual!

Usually, the weekends provided a bit of a break but by Sunday I was dreading work already. That feeling was enhanced by the fact that my boss felt it necessary to call and lecture me further about Friday. After hanging up I realized that my relationship with my boss was toxic. As that day wore on I realized that the feeling I had was simply wrecked. I found myself questioning how much longer I could possibly do this and why I would want to.  Sunday night after Damiean got off work we met up for dinner/dessert. You know those nights you remember forever, but for reasons that aren’t necessarily pleasant? This was one of those nights.  We were sitting on the patio of Chipotle talking about our days and that was when I finally had the breakdown that had been slowly building for quite some time. Damiean thoughtfully listened as I described my feelings of desperation to leave there and my frustrations about not successfully find a job yet that allowed me to leave. I cried and expressed how scared I was of what this job was doing to me and Damiean agreed that I had finally reached a point where he found it difficult to look at me because everything about my body language and demeanor seemed to be crying for help. The tears did not subside for awhile but I had to get home so I could get ready for work the next day.  I fell asleep quickly out of sheer emotional exhaustion and woke up Monday morning feeling no refreshment at all. I got dressed and headed to work as usual, unaware what the day would hold.

Once I arrived at work, I turned on my computer and checked my email. I always expect Mondays to be busy but this one took the cake. I had probably 10 emails, all from my boss containing nothing but negative statements and requests that I handle situations that she herself could easily handle. In that moment sitting at my desk, I finally realized that I could not do this anymore. I quickly typed of my letter of resignation and left.

Let me say this, during my time there,my family, boyfriend and friends all questioned why I would continue to work there. They noticed that as time wore on, I was becoming a shadow of the person I once was and it was not healthy. Like almost everyone in a situation like that, I denied their statements and told them it would get better and it was just for now. Hindsight is 20/20 and looking back now I should have quit a long time ago before I got to where I was.

I know I might get some negative comments or be judged for how I left this job, but trust me, it was the right decision. While my intention was always to give 2 weeks before leaving, I couldn’t wait that long.

After I left, I felt a rush of emotions. I was thrilled to finally be out of that environment and felt free. On the other side I felt afraid and scared of what might happen.

What happened next was nothing short of amazing! The next day, Damiean and I were out to lunch and I received a call letting me know that I had gotten a job! To say I was elated was an understatement. This new job is also in the financial industry but it is actually enjoyable to go to work everyday and I have wonderful co-workers who create a positive work environment that I leave at 5:00 on the dot everyday!

If you have read this far, you are a saint and I appreciate you!

Thank you for letting me share this story with you.